I could not find a job

“I always thought I knew the path ahead of me.  I always had goals and I thought that ahead of goals was achievement.  No one told me it’s not that simple, so when things didn’t work out I really thought I was done for.  A life change had me moving far away to a new area–without a job secured first.  I felt so confident in my experience and abilities that I thought surely I would find something quickly!  Unfortunately it did not work out that way.  Job searching became my job.  I easily applied for over 30 jobs and still could not find employment.  The doubt started to set in.  Maybe I’m not as valuable as I thought.  Anxiety started to set in.  How will I pay my bills?  How much debt will I accumulate?  The fear was real and so was the need for income.  Some days I was so consumed with fear I could hardly concentrate.  My self esteem totally tanked.  But still, I pressed through.  What is that saying?  “When you are walking through hell, keep going?”  People would give me encouraging lines such as, “You will find something soon!” and “Sometimes you have to take something that you don’t want before you find what you really want!”.  These motivations did not really make me feel better but I knew this was the type of support my loved ones could truly offer.  The rest was up to me.  I continued this trudge daily.  Trying to remind myself to just take the steps.  Finally, one day my unemployment ended.  Was it my dream job?  Definitely not.  I still felt a bit lost about what was to come.  My dreams felt they were on hold or perhaps even erased completely.  I still felt there was something to figure out.  But would you believe that my direction at that time was pivotal to where I am today.  It was one of the most uncomfortable situations of my life.  And it wasn’t the last time I would question my direction but it was the first time I was humbled to a degree that I started to open to possibilities I had not considered.  And today I find myself in such a different place and actually grateful for that time!  I’ve learned that I often don’t have the answers and that is okay.  Sometimes I just need to walk forward to learn what is on the other side.”

-Anonymous